Looking for Jesus

As sure as I am 5'7, female and Black, I am just that sure that I put the receipt to these sunglasses in this bag.  But its not here.  I am livid.  I am so angry that I physically feel heat and tingling in my ears.  I may sound over board right now, but I know most of you know exactly what I am feeling.

That feeling of irritation, frustration,confusion and anger when you expect to find something where you know you last had it, but it somehow miraculously and magically vanishes.  Your keys?  A particular top to an outfit you want to wear?  A sheet of paper with an oh so important phone number?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

That was the sound of me screaming as I, for the forth time, purposelessly look through this same plastic bag.

Lately, if I can be honest, this is the same feeling that I have been getting when it comes to God. 

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!

That's the sound of you gasping as I admit what many of you won't.  That sometimes, as saved and sanctified as I am, I can't find God.

When over 60 people get shot at a movie theater, and among the dead is a 6 - yr old girl, I can't find God.  When 60-minutes and 20/20 are filled with episodes of sex trafficking, primarily of children and adolescents, I can't find Him.  When I wake in the middle of the night to find the television broadcasting a show pleading for funds to feed starving and dieing people around the world, though I'm looking where I thought He was, I can't find my God.

As I turn the suitcase upside down that held the plastic bag where I thought the receipt was, I become more frustrated as this analogy of the receipt and God plague me.  By this time, I'm lost in a whirlwind of spiritual thought and physical frenzy.   I find myself throwing the contents of my suitcase in all directions digging deeper and deeper, because I know this receipt has to be here.  Just as I catch a glimpse of that tiny folded sheet of paper at the bottom corner of my suitcase, I chuckle as I hear God speak this truth to my spirit.

When God seems to be missing, look deeper.

When death, poverty, sickness, and war cloud your view of God, be determined to dig through the anger, fear, and pain.  God is there. 

You will find him in the form of some one's courage to save a stranger, or determination to succeed or another's strength to fight, or compassion to forgive. 

When God did not intervene to save or heal, keep digging.

When the wicked around you prosper, dig on.

When God appears faithless, fraudulate and far, commit now, to dig then.

Jeremiah 29:13 You will seek me AND FIND ME, when you seek me with all your heart.