Faster and Better

Getting my 3 year old son ready in the morning should be a relatively simple and quick process.  However, it normally turns into a frustrating and unnecessarily long project.  Why?  Because he wants to "do it by myself."  And also because he "knows how." 

He can button his shirt, so he says.  Somehow he ignores the fact that his small, weak and uncoordinated fingers will drag what should be a 30 second process out to 5 minute ordeal, that at the end of it, he's frustrated, I'm irritated and 4 buttons are still left undone. 

He also tells me he can pour his own juice.  That is, however, right before he tells me he can get his own paper towel to clean the juice up from the kitchen floor.

He can brush his own teeth, cut his own meat, unbuckle his own car seat, and about 1000 other things.  It never dawns on him that his breath still stinks, his meat is whole but his paper plate is cut and that I've unloaded all the groceries and the baby while he still struggles with the latch.  Sometimes I feel like putting my hands on his face until his lips pooch out, looking him square in his eyes and telling him, " Let me do it because I do it faster and better than you." 

I believe God wants to put his holy hands on some of our frustrated faces and let us know the same.  Are you like my son, constantly trying to help God work things out for you?  Does God begin to work in your life and you intervene because you think you know or can do better?

Was God opening doors for a job promotion, but you wanted more money right then, and took a job that you now hate?  Were you tired of being single and started dating the wrong guy that has left you broken?  Were you trying to loose weight and got frustrated with the slow process and tried a method or pill that has left you ill?

What is the issue in your life, that you keep "helping God do", without realizing that if you just let Him do it, He would do it faster and better than you ever could?

I don't know about you, but I am trading in my badge of independence for a blanket of security.  I am smart enough to say, "Daddy, can you help me please."  Or better yet, "Daddy, can you do this?"

Psalms 46:10  Cease striving and know that I am God.

Naked and Unashamed

I have 3 wonderful children.  The one that is producing the most stories these days is my 3 year old.  At this stage, he is either repeating something inappropriate, climbing on something potentially deadly, or leaving a tornado like destruction every where he goes.

One Sunday, he was running around the house naked.  I have thought about changing his name to Adam, because he is truly "naked and unashamed". 

I have tried everything to break this habit.  Many months later, we are still working on it.  So this day, in shear frustration, I raised my voice as I saw him descending the stairs naked and said “Go put on some clothes!” 

He looked at me in complete confusion and asked me, “Why?”  His response was not out of disrespect or ignorance, but something much deeper.

In one word, “Why?” he conveyed much more.  What his mind was thinking, his 3 year old vocabulary could not articulate.  What he wanted to say was this.  “Mom, I’m at home.  It’s just you and me.  What’s the big deal?  I am completely comfortable with you seeing me completely exposed?”

Who in your life is completely comfortable with you seeing them exposed?  Where have you created a safe and non judgmental environment where someone can tell you there secrets, their faults, and their dreams?

Can your coworkers share with you their issues with other co workers, knowing that it will go no further than you?

Can your children share with you their temptations related to sex and drugs without fear of accusations and punishment?

Can your husband share with you his needs without fear of being labeled as unappreciative and selfish?

Where have you created an Eden?  A place where those around you can find complete acceptance.  A place where they feel protected and encouraged.

I challenge you to be a creator of as many Edens as you can.  Go!  Get busy planting!

Genesis 2:25 

Bobbing for Apples

October!  Lovvvvvvvvve it.  The temperature drops so I get to pull out my sweaters and my boots.  The Texas state fair rolls around and the thought of corny dogs, pineapple ice cream and funnel cakes overly excite me.  I enjoy the preparations and decorations for autumn and Thanksgiving.  I even get excited about the fun things associated with Halloween. 

As I think about my best memories of Halloween, my thoughts drift to childhood.  One of the activities that we did each year for Halloween was bob for apples.  Kid after kid would immerse their faces in a huge bucket of water and apples, and see how many they could retrieve with their mouths' in a certain limit of time.

Just to think about this as an adult makes me want to gag.  The once crystal clear water would swiftly become cloudy and discolored by face paint.  The water that was once clean and pure would become a germ infested pool filled with half eaten popcorn kernels, hot dog bits, and saliva.  I shudder at the thought!

As gross and unsanitary as this sounds, I don't remember any huge out breaks of mono, strep, flu, or even colds following this event.  What I do remember about this was how much fun we had.

What other fun things have I educated my way out of?  Where else has maturity won out against laughter and excitement?  What things will I never do once or again because I'm just too informed and enlightened?

How about you?  Do you not love hard any more because you found out how messy it can be?  Have you lately talked to a stranger and walked away with a friend, or do social norms tell you to maintain your personal space and barely nod "Hello"?  Do the responsibilities of an adult always out weigh the excitement of life?

Though there is great value in intelligence and maturity, they can co exist with fun, excitement and laughter.  So maybe all your life you have been told to "Grow up!" and "Act like a mature adult!"  Well I am giving you permission to go return to your childlike nature and go bobbing for your life's metaphoric apples.

Matthew 19:14  Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

By the time 8am rolls around, I have already made about 100 choices.  Let me rattle off a few of them.

1.  Hit the snooze button once, twice, or three times
2.  Wear slightly wrinkled pants and hope the wrinkles fall out as the day goes on or pull out the ironing board
3.  Eat healthy oatmeal and fruit or left over pizza
4.  Take the time to bathe my 3 year old or just douse him with powder
5.  Get gas on the way to work and be late or pray that I can make it to work and get gas after

As my day progresses, the number of choices I make will soar into the hundreds.

Most choices we make never register in our brain.  They just seem automatic.  BUT, they are choices.  Just as choosing to eat the low calorie lunch I packed or choosing to go to lunch with coworkers is a CHOICE, so is choosing to snap at my husband.  It seemed automatic and uncontrollable, but it was a choice.  Just as choosing to cook broccoli or green beans is a choice, so is having a lingering attitude with my co workers that spills over from a bad interaction two days ago.  It seems natural and automatic, but continuing to have an attitude is a choice.

There are windows of opportunities that we are presented with every interaction.  The windows may be more narrow in some than in others, but they exist.  If we are going to be self controlled and calm beings, we have to find those windows.  We have to acknowledge that if we responded inappropriately to a situation, we choose to do so, it just didn't happen.

So examine your interaction with your spouse, children, and co workers over the past week.  What choices have you made?  Are you proud of those choices?

As you go forward this week, pray that God helps you to have clearness of mind and thought in order to be able to appropriately choose the correct response and interactions.  Remember, no behavior and no response just happens, we choose it. 

Looking for Jesus

As sure as I am 5'7, female and Black, I am just that sure that I put the receipt to these sunglasses in this bag.  But its not here.  I am livid.  I am so angry that I physically feel heat and tingling in my ears.  I may sound over board right now, but I know most of you know exactly what I am feeling.

That feeling of irritation, frustration,confusion and anger when you expect to find something where you know you last had it, but it somehow miraculously and magically vanishes.  Your keys?  A particular top to an outfit you want to wear?  A sheet of paper with an oh so important phone number?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

That was the sound of me screaming as I, for the forth time, purposelessly look through this same plastic bag.

Lately, if I can be honest, this is the same feeling that I have been getting when it comes to God. 

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!

That's the sound of you gasping as I admit what many of you won't.  That sometimes, as saved and sanctified as I am, I can't find God.

When over 60 people get shot at a movie theater, and among the dead is a 6 - yr old girl, I can't find God.  When 60-minutes and 20/20 are filled with episodes of sex trafficking, primarily of children and adolescents, I can't find Him.  When I wake in the middle of the night to find the television broadcasting a show pleading for funds to feed starving and dieing people around the world, though I'm looking where I thought He was, I can't find my God.

As I turn the suitcase upside down that held the plastic bag where I thought the receipt was, I become more frustrated as this analogy of the receipt and God plague me.  By this time, I'm lost in a whirlwind of spiritual thought and physical frenzy.   I find myself throwing the contents of my suitcase in all directions digging deeper and deeper, because I know this receipt has to be here.  Just as I catch a glimpse of that tiny folded sheet of paper at the bottom corner of my suitcase, I chuckle as I hear God speak this truth to my spirit.

When God seems to be missing, look deeper.

When death, poverty, sickness, and war cloud your view of God, be determined to dig through the anger, fear, and pain.  God is there. 

You will find him in the form of some one's courage to save a stranger, or determination to succeed or another's strength to fight, or compassion to forgive. 

When God did not intervene to save or heal, keep digging.

When the wicked around you prosper, dig on.

When God appears faithless, fraudulate and far, commit now, to dig then.

Jeremiah 29:13 You will seek me AND FIND ME, when you seek me with all your heart.

The Power of Weakness

My grandmother often tells the story that the only thing she asked of my dad 37 years ago on my mom and dads wedding day, was not to hit my mom, ever.  If you have ever seen my dad, then you would instantly know why.  My dad is 6'3", wears a size 15W shoe and has hands are large enough to palm a beach ball. 

Take those same size proportions and now apply them to his kindness.  I can proudly say that my dad is one of the sweetest, most gentle men that I know.  If you took a poll of 100 people that know him, I guarantee you they all would say the same.

So when it came to disciplining us, he was not the most stern parent to say the least.  There were more then several times that my horrible teenage mouth and attitude deserved an old fashioned "whooping" or at least, a stern grabbing of the shoulders with a "hush your mouth or else" look.  That never happened, ever.

As we got older, I have discussed this with my parents. When I ask him why he never disciplined us, he just says "I don't know".  My mom, however, attributes it to a couple of things.  One of them being that he never wanted to take the chance that he would hurt us.  So my dad chose to contain his strength, even at the expense of it looking like weakness, because he valued our safety and our relationship more.

Thinking of this made me evaluate myself in situations where I have the opportunity to show grace, love, kindness or forgiveness, at the risk of being perceived as weak.

For example, when someone is riding my bumper in traffic because they want me to either go faster or move,  do I move to a different lane and allow them to pass or do I slow down and box them in between me and the car next to us? 

When in group meetings or discussions where I am the more experienced or knowledgeable one, do I rush to give opinions and answers, or do I allow others the opportunity to share?

When someone is being rude to me, do I make it a point to be ruder, louder, and more hurtful?  Or do I stay calm and even apologize for anything that I could have done to make them respond to me that way?

During my self evaluation, I realized that I often choose to take the position of power and not humility.  Of wanting to present myself as knowledgeable more than nice.  Or superior rather than supportive.

So today, my challenge to you and to me, is to model ourselves, not necessarily after my dad, but our Dad.  Jesus.

Philippians 2:5-6 encourages us to "have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus who although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a bond servant, and being made in the likeness of men, and being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."

As a HGTV addict, it was almost surreal when I was in my own personal episode of House Hunters.  My husband and I had an awesome time looking for our second home.  I had a wish list as long as the Texas sun is hot.  That list included things like a pool, hard wood floors, a large master bedroom, large lot, etc, etc.  Most of the things on my list I got.  However, there were some that did not make the final cut.  One thing that I had to settle for was buying a house on a busy street.  My house not only sits on the main street of my neighborhood that serves as the feeder to all the other streets, but it also sits at the top of a hill.

This is not the most ideal situation for a family with small children.  Just last week, my two year old was playing with a ball in the front yard.  My attention was some what divided between watching him and loading my youngest child in the car.  Right when I snapped the last buckle to the baby’s car seat and turned to tell my son to come to the car, I saw the ball that he was playing with swiftly rolling down the hill. 

Impulse took over me and I went barreling down the hill chasing the ball.  Then, as if having an out of body experience, I stopped dead in my tracks to survey the situation.  One of my precious babies was strapped in an unlocked vehicle and the other one was standing unsupervised and dangerously close to a busy street.  I was at least 20 to 30 feet away from them both.  And for what?  Because I was chasing a $2 rubber ball.

It made me think about what other unimportant things in life I am chasing at the expense of the things that really matter.  How about you?  What great thing have you postponed, forfeited, neglected or abandoned in exchange for something cheap, temporary, and possibly even sinful.  Are you a single woman chasing a career at the expense of starting a family?  Or a business woman chasing a promotion at the expense of investing in your marriage?  Are you chasing an ungodly relationship and  pouring your time and energy into it rather than waiting on God to send you a Godly mate?  Or those of you who are running vigorously after money, fame, or prestige.  Others of you that are running away from responsibility, work, and effort and continue to chase the shallow and temporal things in life.

What “rubber ball” of life do you need to stop chasing?  I made the decision to let the ball continue to roll away, realizing that I would most likely never see it again.  I am not suggesting that your decision to willingly turn away from the thing that you have been chasing long and hard will be this easy.  I am suggesting that making the right decision will always be worth it, even if the thing that you were initially chasing never returns. 

 As I strapped my son into the car next to his sister and closed the door, a truck pulled to the edge of my driveway.  It was a neighbor who witnessed the ball rolling away and was kind enough to retrieve and return it to me.  He did not realize that this was more than a kind gesture, but also confirmation from God.

That when we "seek you first the kingdom of God, all these things will be added unto you."  Matthew 6:33

The Man

I have a multitude of unique preferences and idiosyncrasies.  Translation:  I have a bunch of weird quirks.  I have enough self awareness to admit that the number and nature of them can be classified as bizarre.



For example, if I am walking with an open beverage and I am unfortunate enough to smell a random foul odor, I will throw my drink away.  I am convinced that the air that carried that smell to my nose is now in my drink.



Another example would be the fact that I have to dot every I and cross every T, literally.  Seriously, when I hand write something I have to go back over the document and make sure that every I and T have their rightfully assigned dots and crosses.  Sometimes I test myself to see if I  could purposely leave an I or T unfinished.  Impossible!  Something compels me to go back and correct it.



Other examples include the absolute fury that runs through my body when someone pinches me.  Or the unique way that I have to shower at a hotel in order to make sure that no part of the shower curtain touches me.  Or flushing public toilets before I use them, even if it is a fresh bowl, with the hope that I can flush away some of the awful germs.



The list goes infinitely on, but I will you spare you the others.
 

As I reflect on Resurrection Sunday, its meaning and its magnitude, of course it brings me straight to Jesus.  This morning my thoughts are not on Jesus the Divine God, but Jesus the man.  My mind wondered to thoughts of how He was as a person, in the flesh, just like you and me.  I wondered what were his likes, dislikes, preferences and quirks.



Did he not like his food to touch?  Did he hate to get to bed after a certain time? Could he tolerate all the times he bagged or bruised his hand while working but it was the small wooden splinters that drove him nuts?  Did he wear a head wrap while working because he hated the stinging of sweat in his eyes?  Did certain sounds annoy like crickets or clanging metal annoy him? What did he think about when he was up late and could not sleep?
 

When I think about him in this way, it makes this day much more powerful.  That a man, with feelings, preferences, likes, dislikes, just like me, went to the cross.  It makes me realize that it was Jesus the Divine God that rose from the dead but it was Jesus the man who went to the cross.



I invite you to think of Jesus in this way.  Take a moment to see him as a flesh and blood man.  Now picture the embarrassment, the pain, the stinging and irritating sweat in this eye, the thirst, the hunger, the desires, the sleepiness, the annoying sounds, the cramps, the agony.



Many times we view Easter as a tradition to be celebrated without stopping to really reflect.  So today saints, reflect.  Your point of reflection may be different than mine, but I am certain you will get a fresh perspective and a stronger appreciation for what Jesus, the God man, did for you and me. 



Thank you, Jesus!

The death of Whitney Houston has made me reflect on....

I have sat mesmerized by the coverage of Whitney Houston’s funeral services.  I have heard so many famous and important voices.  The voice of Bishop T.D. Jakes and Bishop Winan’s challenged us to come to Christ.  The voices of Kevin Costner and Tyler Perry spoke words of encouragement about Whitney to her family, friends and fans.  The melodic singing voices of BeBe and CiCi Winans, Alicia Keys, Stevie Wonder, R Kelly and Kim Burrell. 

And of course, the unparalleled and effortlessly beautiful voice of Whitney Houston.   She has even been termed “the Voice”.

Despite the numerous wonderful voices, there is one that I can’t help but wonder about.  I wonder once Whitney took her last breath, and slipped from this world, did she hear the voice of God saying, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.  Well done.”

I am aware, as we all are, of her struggle with drugs and alcohol.  However, I do believe that she knew Christ as her personal savior.  So she, like all Christians, struggled with sin that displeased God.  So I will not judge or be arrogant enough to think that I am better off in my walk with Christ than she. 

So I wonder, did she hear the voice that we as Christians all long to hear one day.  I pray she did.  But for Whitney, it’s done.  Whether she did or did not, has already been determined.  But not for you and I.  We still have this moment forward, to strive to hear the voice of God say “Well done.”

 In an effort to hear those words from the Father, I choose to forgive today.  I choose to apologize today.   I make the choice to be more diligent in my service for Christ.  As I look at my little boy, I am making the choice to be more intentional about raising him to be kind and compassionate.  I choose to strive for the approval of Christ.

Whitney Houston set and broke records, won many awards, and topped musical charts time and time again.  However, I can be sure that where she is now, no accolade that she received in this life could top the reward of hearing the Most High God tell her “Welcome and well done.”

Thank you Whitney for sharing your voice with the world and thank you for re-centering me in my walk with Christ.

The Easy Way Out

I have not blogged in two weeks.  So I am sure that you are expecting profound and thought provoking discussion.  I apologize in advance if it is a bit of a let down that I am beginning this blog with discussion of peeling an orange.  (Stay with me though, I promise, I'm going somewhere.)

Last week, for the first time in literally months, I peeled and ate an orange.  That might not seem like anything that should  make headlines but for me, that's a "stop the press" kind of event.  Though I absolutely love oranges, I rarely eat them because I hate the process of peeling them.  That awful white matter from the  orange peel gets uncomfortably lodged under my nails and I have to find some random device to dig it out from underneath them.  No matter how far I strategically place the orange away from my face,  juice packed with stinging acid finds the path to my eyes. Even after I vigorously wash my hands, hours later people are asking me if I got a new citrus lotion from Bath and Body works.  It's just not worth it.

Instead of dealing with the "drama" associated with peeling an orange, I just don't eat them.  I choose to miss out on one of my favorite fruits and all of its nutritious value because its too hard.  Instead of dealing with it, I avoid it.

Are there any "orange" areas in your life?  Areas in your life that you consistently choose convenience over commitment? Or ease over effort?  Do you settle for one thing instead of striving for another? 

For example, is there a dream that lays dormant because it would take a considerable amount of time, energy and effort to accomplish?

Is there a strained relationship in your life that you have allowed enough distance and time pass to convince you that its not worth the effort of seeking reconciliation?

Is your marriage functional but not thriving?

Have you opted not to have many friends or get in committed relationships because you would rather be alone than put in the work?

If none of the above areas fit you, then check the areas of your life where you find yourself saying "I should but...", "I need to but..." or "I would love to but ..."

Many times what stands between what we should be accomplishing and our current position, is emotional or physical laziness.  Sounds harsh, but true. 

So today, for me, I have identified two areas of my life where I have allowed the work involved, keep me from the reward promised.  I will have to be more intentional.  Planning ahead will be required.  There is a risk of nonreciprocated emotions.  I will feel at some point over worked and under appreciated.  Many days I will have to force my tired body to go somewhere other than to sleep.  But today, I am choosing to peel back the orange areas of my life and see what fruit awaits me.

Ecclesiastes 9:10 "Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might."
Proverbs 12:24 "Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in forced labor."
Proverbs 13:4 "A sluggard's appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied."

Silence

As smart as I think I am and often claim to be, there are two areas of my intelligence that I make no boast about.  Area 1:  Spelling…You would think English was my second language if you read a rough draft of anything that I wrote.  Area 2:  Directional sense…I can get lost trying to find a house on the same street that I am currently on if the street curves too much.

So the two inventions that have saved my life have been spell check and GPS.  The use of these two marvelous wonders have become as much a part of my daily routine as my tooth brush and clear lip gloss.

So last week, when I had to drive to Jefferson, TX (a small town near the Texas and Louisiana border), I punched in the address of my destination and headed out.  As I navigated out of my neighborhood, Lisa (the name I have affectionately given my GPS) talks to me frequently.  She tells me to turn left in a half mile, merge onto a certain street in one mile, keep left at the fork, etc. etc.  After she gets me to Interstate 20, she tells me to stay on 20 East for 200+ miles, and then says nothing else for a very long time.  After about an hour, I look at the GPS just to make sure I'm on the right track because Lisa is still silent.  Then 30 minutes later, I check again because still no word from Lisa.  Several times I come to a section of the freeway where I have options to exit or take another freeway.  Lisa still remains silent.  I have never been where I am going before.  This trip is taking a long time.  This silence is uncomfortable.

Does this sound like the season of life or current situation that you are in?  Is God leading you somewhere new and you feel like He has gone silent?  Do you keep asking him in your prayer time to give you further instructions on a challenging situation but none come? 

Well, God and Lisa are alike in how they guide you.  They only give you directions when it is time for you to make a move.  When they want you to just keep following the last instructions they gave you, they remain silent.

So before getting discouraged because you are not hearing from God, consider that He may be "speaking through the silence".  Identify what was the last word you heard from God, and keep doing that.  When He is ready for you to make a move, He will let you know.  And just like Lisa who gives me a 2 mile warning , He will give you clear directions in just enough time to make a smooth transition.

"Maybe He's speaking through the silence.
Maybe that's all I need to hear.
Give me the patience in this quiet
I need to rest here.  And be ok."
Anthony Evans